What does it say about the state of our hearts that we cannot appreciate another's good news because it's not happening to us?
You know, I do notice the multiple stories scattering my news feed about a recent engagement. And I chuckle a bit, in the ironic sense, because I'm so far from that sort of life, yet people I went to grade school with are getting hitched. And I can appreciate a joke made by my single friends in regards to that, because I respect humor. And yes, I will even post the song "Another One Bites the Dust" every time I see such announcements (because a bit of the cynic left in me questions sometimes if these people really know what they're getting into).
But there is something so disheartening by one of the common responses to engagement, marriage and baby notifications by single folk, because we take an event worth celebrating, and mourn over it. We lament the occasion because it's someone getting something we want. And even when we say it in the pretense of a joke and laugh about it, somewhere at the heart, there has to be sourness. Even if we're not as bitter as we claim, even if part of us is happy for those people, there is obviously a very evident part of ourselves that is not.
Do I even have to list off the traits that this attitude purveys? Self-centeredness, discontentment, covetous, greed, envy...the list goes on.
Considering how all of us are more self-centered than we care to admit, perhaps I'll appeal to that side first and put a little "Golden Rule" into play. How would we feel to know that people were bemoaning a very special occasion in our lives? I'm reluctant now to announce my engagement (whenever it happens and let's be real, if it happens) on facebook if it's going to cause hundreds of people distress and bitterness. If you want others to join in your joy when something special happens in your life, how about we join in theirs?
But I guess the crux of it is learning to be content and whatever the opposite of "self-focused" is ("others-focus" just doesn't quite describe what I'm going for here). Of course I truly believe that this is impossible without a relationship with Jesus; it's hard to focus ourselves into such a permanent attitude apart from Him. I say this because in order for those changes to manifest themselves in our lives, we need to truly understand and appreciate what we have in Him as well as a knowledge in how He works in our individual lives.
Everyone has their own lot. And if Jesus is our lot, then we have enough. But I suppose the key is truly believing that. If not, then we will always want what others have and feel bitter over not having it. What do we esteem as true value? If it is ourselves and our circumstances above all else, then naturally we are going to be upset when someone else prevails and we don't. But if it is Jesus and then others, then we first are wholly satisfied by him, despite external circumstances, and secondly are truly happy for the good things that happen in other people's lives.
"...in humility count others more significant than yourselves." Philippians 2:3
It's just the implication of becoming upset, if you will, when people get engaged or whatnot settles unfavorably on me, because if we're lamenting others' good fortunes, than would we celebrate their misfortunes? Do we then feel better about ourselves when we see that a relationship has fallen apart? Those are the things that are not to foster joy.
Instead, let us genuinely and sincerely rejoice when someone has good news. Let us celebrate with them and not focus on what we don't have, but lift up what they do have.
"Rejoice with those who rejoice." Romans 12:15
A Companion Post to This
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